No Ghosting (Relevance Tool 3 of 3)

Slang is a borrower at heart. Slang takes off when it gives a word new meaning in ways that are vivid and evocative.

I’m co-opting one such slang word today.

And the word is ghosting: ending contact, without explanation or communication, most commonly in the context of modern dating.

I'm taking the word, but changing the context.

I’m anti-ghosting—and try, as best as I can, to uphold this precept in making, life and work. 

Why? Decency. And Relevance.

No ghosting makes you relevant in ways you may not have considered as you build the next phase of your impact in the world.

Here are three key places begging for you not to ghost. The stakes are too high.

No Ghosting creatively. Find a creative rhythm and make “small deposits” consistently, over time, so your idea, belief, project, or commitment can bloom. i.e.: don’t ghost on yourself. And start as small as you need to make this happen. Take an oath on this one. Your idea will thank you.

No Ghosting socially.  The radio silence of disappearing without notice (in life or work)—including silence over text, social media, email, or phone. First step: acknowledge receipt of an idea or communication. I remind myself I can get back in touch and say I'll need time to consider—and then follow up at said time. Common courtesy is a baseline for relevance, because it builds the muscle of staying present and showing up.

No Ghosting on your expertise. Whatever your field, you’ve acquired relevant expertise. Part of your professional duty and integrity is to take a stand for your client (or prospect)—and have that difficult conversation—even when it may cost you work. This is top of mind for me now—because this recently happened to me, and as I'm drafting this post I don’t know yet if I lost (or gained) the client by speaking up.

No ghosting on your expertise means mustering the courage to tell a client that what they're proposing is not in their own interest. Even if their idea took you by surprise (why would someone propose that?), remember they didn’t propose it out of ego or pride (or whatever other motive you may have ascribed to them). 

Take a breath and remind yourself that you know quite a bit about your field of expertise, and you’ve seen lots of outcomes, including the good and not-so-good. Instead of agreeing to an idea that won’t produce the outcome the client desires or avoiding the issue, step forward. 

Take a moment to explain your thinking. Speak up and be clear. You will never be more relevant or valued to a client. After all, your client is hiring you because they trust you to look out for their interest over your own. You and your client will thank you.

Client Update: It's a go. Last week, the prospective client called to say they would like to work together.

Your turn.
Where have you been ghosting, and where could you show up?
What one tiny step could you do today, maybe even right now, to start?

And, if you’d like:
Quicklinks to the other posts in this series:
Tool #1: Make Relevance a Guiding Metric.
Tool #2: Who, Where, What. Concise and Vibrant.