Your competition is hiding in plain sight. Here’s the phrase to uncover it.
Drumroll please. Here’s the phrase. It's six brief words: “Tell me about the last time…."
These days, I’m finding it revelatory. Here’s how I use it, why it works, and how you can use it too.
I’m in the business of helping people use their words to develop their idea that heals and then connect with those who need it most. So I’m interested in how folks go about creating and communicating their ideas.
Specifically, I want to know how they approach the task, what they seek to achieve, what they think is possible, and how the process usually goes (or stalls) for them.
One of the best ways I’ve discovered to uncover this information is to ask an open-ended, laser-effective, prompt: “Tell me about the last time you [did X].”*
Here, you’re really saying “Tell me a story.” Pay attention and you’ll feel the connection created even before they respond.
At Stacy Communications these days, I’ll ask clients and prospects: “Tell me about the last time you prepared a talk or presented your work (or yourself).
Adapt this prompt for your specific line of work. You could say:
“Tell me about the last time you….
::tried to alleviate the pain in your shoulder [bodyworker]
::wanted to get off your diabetes meds [physician in a busy public health clinic]
::thought about your own end-of-life choices [integrative physician presenting to colleagues on California’s new end-of-life law]
::moved offices, or had to set up a new treatment space [healthcare interior designer]
::sought help for your child struggling in school [educational therapist or neuropsychologist]
::tried to have your family eat together regularly during the work week [personal chef]
And yes, sometimes this involves some creativity! If you work primarily with first-time customers (ex: a doula assisting parents with the birth of their first child), you may need to ask: Tell me about the last time you hired a coach….or Tell me about the last time you heard a birth story that really appealed to you.
After you offer your prompt, listen.
Attentively and patiently.
Only ask open-ended follow up questions about specific points such as:
“Why do you think that was?"
“What did that step/moment look like for you?"
“How does that compare to what you’ve tried before?"
“What surprised you most about it?"
You’ll get incredible insights about your customer, and the services and products that would be most helpful and relevant.
And, you’ll learn about your competition. Here you may be in for a big surprise.
Your competition is less likely another competing purveyor of your kind of service. Rather, it’s your prospect’s own current behavior. Their habits, beliefs, tools, or processes—and that list can also include a willingness or simple resignation of muddling through.
Yep, muddling through.
Calling it out gently is helpful. Most of us aren’t keen to see ourselves as “muddlers.” Simply by naming it, you open up a new identity for your prospect: that of “non-muddler—i.e. someone who instead is sure-handed, focused, intentional, and supported to solve the problem effectively and gracefully.
Imagine what that could look like for your client….or for yourself.
Time for Action. Where could you use this prompt 1, 2, or 3 times this week?
If you want a practice-spin, try it out in a low stakes social setting this weekend. “Tell me about the last time you…..[ex: had to get out of a jam, or committed to exercising 5 days a week.] Your pick. And if you’re worried about the conversation stalling, you can always say: “And then what happened?"
As always, I’d love to know your stories and ahas. Tell me…here.
PS: If you like this approach (and prompt), check out Cindy Alvarez’s Lean Customer Development. Build Products Your Customers Will Buy. Fantastic book and great read. Stay tuned for more insights from me on this topic next week