Say Nothing. Do this instead.

You’re likely here because you know it’s upon you to advocate for your business—and for the healing and change you bring to the world.

These days, it can feel as if each of us is called upon to be an all-in-one professional writer, actor, speaker, video personality, and communications director on behalf of our businesses.

That role often involves you having to say something. On email, your website, the phone, a Skype video chat, social media posts, a stage, or even a Periscope broadcast.

And yet, this is also true:

While today's available platforms for communicating may be proliferating like wildflowers, the principles for powerful, easeful connection are not.

In fact, you can distill them to three.

In this order:

Be...

Aware of the moment.
Clear on your objective.
Fully present, and honest.

Simple, yes. Powerful, even more so.

Apply these principles to your business, and experience a new ease, focus, and confidence.

And this means, you can:
—no longer feel shy when the spotlight falls on you + your biz (say, at that networking or social event when you’re asked about your work and the room seems to hush all at once)
—free yourself from the “script" that makes you more robotic than relaxed when someone asks “what do you do?” or “how so?"
—act on your desire to take the bigger stage for your work and go after that podcast invite, conference speech, or teaching opportunity because you trust that you’re in control of your message and destiny.
—change the trajectory of your biz toward remarkable because you’re reliably persuasive and give your clients a great story to tell.

“Wonderful,” you say, but “where do I start?"

Ready? First….

Say Nothing. Yep. Nothing.

Nada.
Zip.
Silence.
Zero.

This "zip of the lips” lets you begin training yourself to be aware of the moment, and what it offers. [That’s principle #1 above and the focus of today’s post for you.] 

Instead of talk, try this.

Let go of the seemingly always-on speaker’s role, and allow yourself the pleasure and tremendous insight that comes from being an attentive observer of the audience…in conversation and in life.

Use your eyes and ears.

Here’s an activity you can try anywhere—at a cafe, a dinner party, a live performance, or even a work meeting.

Be on the lookout for when you sense things begin to shimmer. 

By shimmer, I mean a moment where two or more people are interacting and the energy in the room lifts, sparks, or change for the better. This can be a conversation you are in, or one that you observe.

When it happens, make a light mental note—a note that sharpens your focus, yet light enough that it draws you into the moment and not out of it.

At home, you can even play “shimmer” detective while watching a film or TV. This is great because you can rewind again and again and really study the moment.

You may see the listener’s eyes lift, his or her back slightly straighten. You may also see a startle, sly smile, or focused stillness come across his or her face. 

Try to spot this in a judge’s or audience's reaction to an audition or performer. You’re looking for the engagement (equal parts delight and humility) that comes across the listener’s face as they deem the moment remarkable, worthy of attention, and something they hadn’t quite predicted or anticipated. 

Ultimately, you're watching the listener invest a little more of themselves, and commit to the moment. And it’s this investment that builds the energy or connection.

It’s the human element. And why our communicating to and with each other matters in the first place.

Look here to see how Audible has created a vivid, print campaign around the heightening of attention and investment as it comes across a listener’s face.

The image is built around the model’s alert eyes, as the words of the story surround her. The repetition of white in the headphones and words, connect the two visually and thematically, and helps us make sense of what we’re seeing.

Linger with the image for a hair longer (easy to do on the San Francisco BART train where I first encountered another version of this ad), and you come to understand that it’s the young woman's interest (sparked and channeled by what she hears) that creates her focus and intensity.

That the words surrounding her speak of wonder (and attention) is no coincidence.

Now, your turn:
As you play shimmer detective, you’ll see the rapport, and investment, deepen as the listener’s attention is sustained by the continued reward of something wonderful and not quite anticipated.

Right now, though, we’re focused, like Audible, on that initial moment of shimmer or commitment.

For a personal touch, choose the level of this field-activity that’s right for you.

If shimmer is not something you usually pay conscious attention to, then simply start.

If you consider yourself attuned or adept at this (one of those lifelong people watchers at airports, restaurants, and elsewhere), challenge yourself to identify the smallest micro-expression of this energy change or shimmer.

See if you can spot or anticipate the signs of it in the moment just before it appears. An inkling almost. Respect folks’ privacy; it’s not about spying but being attuned.

If you’d like, jot your mental field notes down at a later moment. One running evernote titled “Shimmer Findings” will do the trick.

Feel free to share one or more of your observations with me.

Playing shimmer detective (and practicing it in a focused, consistent, even daily way) gives you a kind of reverence for a moment because you see or sense what’s possible or at stake. That’s what makes it a foundational communication skill and attitude.

You want to challenge yourself to become subtle at this—there is a world of difference between understanding this concept “in broad-brush strokes” vs feeling like it’s a native, nimble skill.

Practicing will also make you more attuned to when the listener doesn’t invest a little more, and things remain dull or flat.

Over the next few days be mindful and attentive to both. 

It's a kind of observation that slows things down and makes you present. Observing IS doing. 

Consider this “shimmer detective" a first go-to (pocket-sized), and platform agnostic, communication tool + technique. It’s relevant no matter the communication channel.

It’s a first step in bringing your business writing and speaking closer to the vibrancy of your best everyday conversation. 

And this vibrancy starts with saying nothing.

By connecting to your senses, you get out of your head in a way that, curiously, clarifies and centers your thinking. [I could have titled this post “How to get out of your own head and way.”]

This tool/activity is useful IF you act on it. Really do it. Calendar it if you have to. The value is in the action you take.

On tap for next week: I will address principle #2: Be clear on your objective, building on your “shimmer detective” work.  For now, it’s enough to say that:

Communication has an objective—to appeal, to love, to persuade, to help, to be of service. To meet its objective, the “communication" has to land. This week, I’m encouraging you to pay attention to glimpses of that landing.